1. Celebrity couple (X & Y) goes on a romantic date in a hip cafe.
   
2. Paparazzo A, hiding behind some bushes across the street from said cafe, takes photos of a brief moment when Y is smiling while speaking to a waitress and X is grimacing while digging through her bag.
3. Paparazzo A sells photos to trashy tabloid rag A for $$$$$.
4. Tabloid A publishes photos under headline "X to Y: IT'S OVER! X is enraged over Y talking to a hot waitress during their date, and threatens to move out and take the dogs with her"
5. Tabloids B and C splash old photos of X & Y making angry faces (presumably from noticing a paparazzo rather than being angry at each other) all over their covers, and use similar headlines to Tabloid A.
6. X & Y separate because of distress from hearing break-up rumors.
7. One week later, Paparazzo A takes pictures of X walking her dogs post-separation, looking tired and not perfectly put-together.
   
8. Around the same time, Paparazzo B takes pictures of Y smiling while speaking with his young female cousin at a family barbecue.
   
9. Paparazzi A and B sell pictures to Tabloid A for $$$$$
   
10. Tabloid A publishes photos under the headline "X: HE BROKE MY HEART! X crying during a lonely stroll one week after shocking break-up with Y. Y speaks with young girl: he's a cradle robber, too!"
11. Y publicly rebukes and threatens to sue Tabloid A for defamation. He later brings a lawsuit.
    
12. Cash-strapped "friend" of Y releases photos of Y shirtless and drunk at a frat party in college to Tabloid A, which gives this "friend" $$$$$ in return.
13. Other celebrities lambaste Y for "poor choices" on Twitter and Facebook.
14. Y refuses to issue apology, saying that those photos should have remained private, and publicly rebukes his "friend".
15. X does not issue any statements, despite being coerced by reporters.
    
16. Tabloids A, B, C, online magazines 1 and 2, blogs 1 to n, and "reputable" news sources I-V publish stories and opinion columns bashing Y for being an insolent liar, pervert, and cheater and proclaiming X to be a victim.
    
17. Y is forced to issue an apology to X, and he finally does.
    
18. X does not respond immediately, leading "news" sources to bash HER for being indecisive and secretive. Tabloids coin a nickname for her to mock her indecisiveness: "Waity X-ie". Why can't she act the victim like she should?
    
19. "News" sources claim Y's apology is insincere and attack him again. This man can't be trusted to tell the truth!
    
20. X finally responds, saying that she remains friends with Y, does not believe in these rumors of infidelity, and wishes to reunite with him after a period of time. She also asks for the paps to leave her and Y alone.
    
21. "News" sources bash X for not being an "empowered" woman. Is she stupid or what?
    
22. Paps leave X alone, and she is not photographed out and about for weeks. They ignore her plea for them to ignore Y.
    
23. Tabloids A-C claim that she's a lazy bum who is moping around because she just doesn't know what to do with her life after the break-up. They make up a new nickname: "Lazy X-y". She's a typical clingy chick who can't go on without her man!
24. Y wins defamation suit against Tabloid A for an undisclosed amount.
25. "News" sources scream injustice at the ruling, claiming that the judge is a fraud who let a known pedophile go free because this wealthy celebrity bribed him.

and so on.