Me, the anti-Asian stereotype.

I'm so disgusted with myself. Here I am, sitting in front of my computer as I do for hours a day, my droopy eyes glued to the screen. My $1000+ a month apartment, which my parents are paying for because I'm too unmotivated to find a job, is a pigsty, with wrappers and dishes strewn about.

I just came back from a place where I blew another ~$200 of my parents' money, wondering whether someone like me is really cut out for becoming a working professional who has to have the motivation to wake up early in the morning and go to work at the same time every weekday. My parents keep comparing me to my friends, asking me to be more like them (i.e. earning their own money, working at decent jobs). As irritating as it is when they do that, I secretly agree--no one my age should be like this. It's shameful, especially in a country that respects individuality and self-sufficiency. I should be a laughingstock.

Any other person would have lit a fire under his or her rear end a long time ago in order to find a job, earn a living, and live independently. I admire my successful friends with enviable work ethic, listen to my parents nag about jobs and exercise, daydream about finally having my own money to waste however I wish, and remind myself that I still do want to achieve my dream...and yet, I just can't find the motivation.

Before I left, they packed my books and the multiple stacks of printouts. I was pumped. I was ready to conquer this beast. My parents printed out five copies of all the questions in the book, telling me to do them all. Telling me that they believed in me. I thought: "I'm not going to fail this time. I don't fail twice." I had everything at my disposal--plenty of time, materials, and youthful energy. I had a good month or so, so I figured I had time.

As it turns out, this was the worst thing I could have done. The month dwindled to a mere two weeks, then one week, then five days. On the very last day, I finally lit my butt on fire, so to speak. Foregone conclusion--it's too little, too late. I walked into that room, sat in front of that computer, and realized that nothing stuck. The words might as well have been in Hindi.

When they realize that I failed (don't doubt it) despite having everything I needed, they'll be disappointed, to say the least. Again, they'll wonder where they went wrong. Again, they'll follow me to my room to confront me and ask me what exactly is going on in my head. They'll ask me if I need one of them to come back and watch over me to make sure I'm doing what I should be doing. I'll say no, like I always do. Like it always does, my regret will subside in a few days' time. I'll probably end up recycling each stack of printouts, too cowardly to face something that will bring out feelings of shame.

Cards, the playing in politics of

When Palin was running for VP, the right accused the left of playing the gender card when we criticized her frightening lack of knowledge or experience. They played the gender card on then-Senator Clinton mere months before when she was fighting for the Democratic nomination. They also did this every single time she ran for an office or her husband ran for an office, because they believe that a woman should be at home taking care of the kids, not going out being ambitious or pursuing a career.

They accuse the left of playing the race card against Herman Cain (apparently we're "attacking" him because we're "afraid" of a "strong black conservative"), but we know all too well how they used and are still using the race card against President Obama. Herman Cain does not have the knowledge, the intellectual curiosity, or the gravitas to become the leader of the free world. Black Americans who support Obama are somehow "brainwashed" into supporting his "liberal agenda", whereas black-Americans who support the Republicans are self-sufficient and independent in their thinking.

Toss the damn cards.

Drunk drivers are some of the most loathsome people on the planet. It's too bad that there will always be alcoholic drinks (because banning them has proven impossible) and irresponsible asshats, and that no number of dead innocents killed by drunk driving will ever be high enough to put a stop to shitbags thinking that freedom includes the right to do whatever they want, other people's lives be damned.

The father of one of my middle school classmates, who lost his brother in a drunk driving crash the night after his high school graduation in 2000, pleaded and pleaded with students in a speech to my middle school to not drive drunk and kill someone else's son and brother. I wonder how many students actually cared about this grieving father's speech that day, and didn't think that this man was just another parent who wants to spoil their fun.

Speaking of fun, is prison fun? Is forever bearing the guilt of knowing that you killed someone's family member or friend because of your own irresponsibility and carelessness fun? Is one fun night out drinking always worth it in the end, even if someone pays for it with his or her life?

A message to teen girls all across America.

Don't get raped, especially by your school's star athlete. He will get a slap in the wrist and whine about going to a trial while you will be slapped in the face by your school's administrators, your school district, and the courts for exercising your first amendment right of freedom of speech by not cheering for your rapist rather than being the weak, submissive woman they expect you to be.

1. Celebrity couple (X & Y) goes on a romantic date in a hip cafe.
   
2. Paparazzo A, hiding behind some bushes across the street from said cafe, takes photos of a brief moment when Y is smiling while speaking to a waitress and X is grimacing while digging through her bag.
3. Paparazzo A sells photos to trashy tabloid rag A for $$$$$.
4. Tabloid A publishes photos under headline "X to Y: IT'S OVER! X is enraged over Y talking to a hot waitress during their date, and threatens to move out and take the dogs with her"
5. Tabloids B and C splash old photos of X & Y making angry faces (presumably from noticing a paparazzo rather than being angry at each other) all over their covers, and use similar headlines to Tabloid A.
6. X & Y separate because of distress from hearing break-up rumors.
7. One week later, Paparazzo A takes pictures of X walking her dogs post-separation, looking tired and not perfectly put-together.
   
8. Around the same time, Paparazzo B takes pictures of Y smiling while speaking with his young female cousin at a family barbecue.
   
9. Paparazzi A and B sell pictures to Tabloid A for $$$$$
   
10. Tabloid A publishes photos under the headline "X: HE BROKE MY HEART! X crying during a lonely stroll one week after shocking break-up with Y. Y speaks with young girl: he's a cradle robber, too!"
11. Y publicly rebukes and threatens to sue Tabloid A for defamation. He later brings a lawsuit.
    
12. Cash-strapped "friend" of Y releases photos of Y shirtless and drunk at a frat party in college to Tabloid A, which gives this "friend" $$$$$ in return.
13. Other celebrities lambaste Y for "poor choices" on Twitter and Facebook.
14. Y refuses to issue apology, saying that those photos should have remained private, and publicly rebukes his "friend".
15. X does not issue any statements, despite being coerced by reporters.
    
16. Tabloids A, B, C, online magazines 1 and 2, blogs 1 to n, and "reputable" news sources I-V publish stories and opinion columns bashing Y for being an insolent liar, pervert, and cheater and proclaiming X to be a victim.
    
17. Y is forced to issue an apology to X, and he finally does.
    
18. X does not respond immediately, leading "news" sources to bash HER for being indecisive and secretive. Tabloids coin a nickname for her to mock her indecisiveness: "Waity X-ie". Why can't she act the victim like she should?
    
19. "News" sources claim Y's apology is insincere and attack him again. This man can't be trusted to tell the truth!
    
20. X finally responds, saying that she remains friends with Y, does not believe in these rumors of infidelity, and wishes to reunite with him after a period of time. She also asks for the paps to leave her and Y alone.
    
21. "News" sources bash X for not being an "empowered" woman. Is she stupid or what?
    
22. Paps leave X alone, and she is not photographed out and about for weeks. They ignore her plea for them to ignore Y.
    
23. Tabloids A-C claim that she's a lazy bum who is moping around because she just doesn't know what to do with her life after the break-up. They make up a new nickname: "Lazy X-y". She's a typical clingy chick who can't go on without her man!
24. Y wins defamation suit against Tabloid A for an undisclosed amount.
25. "News" sources scream injustice at the ruling, claiming that the judge is a fraud who let a known pedophile go free because this wealthy celebrity bribed him.

and so on.